Ever feel like your world goes topsy turvy?

Ever feel like your world goes topsy turvy?  What just happened?  Why did things change?  What did I do?  There are times I feel like I must have done something terribly wrong.  This morning as I was waking up, I read this scripture, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go,” from Joshua 1:9 NKJV.  It brought light to what I was feeling. 

I felt like my world was suddenly tilted and I didn’t know why the landscape had changed.  God came into the midst of my whirly feelings and says (loose interpretation)… don’t forget what I told you.  Remember, be strong and of good courage.  Don’t let fear get the best of you and don’t get distressed.  I am right here with you.  I’ve got you.  I hear Him telling my heart, “Do you trust that I’ve got you in the palm of My hand?”  Lord.. I am sorry that I forget just how much You are entwined into the very details of my life, my heart, and my day to day.  Thank You for reminding me that You are right here.  No matter what I am going through, You are right there.  You are the first and only person that I need to turn to, to run to when I am upset about something.  You are right there!  Always there. 

Thank You for the reminder to be strong… to have good courage… to not be afraid even when I don’t understand.  You are right here and that is so comforting.  Lord, there are changes happening that I don’t understand, but I know You’ve got me.  I know I am safe in You.  Things might not happen the way I thought they would, but You already know what is going on.  You see the pattern, the finished product of the quilt of my life and all I can see is the inch right in front of me.  Thank You for the reminder that You are still there.  That You are still in control and I don’t have to try to figure it out.  In fact, You say for me to not to try and use my own wisdom.. my own knowledge to hammer it out. 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding,” per Proverbs 3:5 NKJV.  Okay, Lord, You really have this.  Help me to learn and see what You want me to.  Help me to let go of needing to be in the know.  :O)  You are way more knowledgeable that me.. that’s for sure. 

I am reminded of the questions that Job was asked by God.  “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?  Tell Me, if you have understanding.  Who determined its measurements?  Surely you know!  Or who stretched the line upon it?  To what were its foundations fastened?  Or who laid its cornerstone..” (Job 38:4-6)… God is so much bigger than I can even fathom and day by day I need to remind myself of His glory and majesty.. that He is so infinitely greater.. bigger.. wiser.. than I can fathom.  He is trustworthy and kind, strong and gentle, longsuffering and patient. 

God, I am sorry when I sit down and cry in self-pity when I don’t understand what is going on.  You do and I can trust that You will tell me what I need to know.  You will give me understanding when I need it.  I love that I can let go and trust You.  I can let go and breathe again.  Thank You for Your gentleness!  Thank You for Your kindness!  Thank You for Your patience with this daughter of Yours.  You make me smile with the love You show me.  Thank You for the reminder to be of good courage and to not be afraid, for You are with me!  Thank You, Lord.  I love You!

Pushing a Train is Exhausting!

Sometimes there is pain in growing.  God has been showing me just how prideful and strong willed I was being with Him.  He is God, I am not.  His purposes are good and not evil.  I can trust Him, but will I?  Will I step back and allow Him to accomplish what He wants to do?

It was revealed that I was not submitting to Andrew as the church submitted to Christ.  Wow!  I had so much pride there and yet I was failing in what I thought I was doing successfully.  I needed to step back, step down, and wait on God.  He will do it.  He will accomplish it.  He doesn't need my help.  In fact, He asks me not to help until He tells me so.  Wow!!!  Humbling!

I am sorry Lord for trying to make things happen.. to further this thing along the tracks.  Here's the thing, He has control of the engine.  I don't.  Getting behind the train and trying to help push it to the next destination is exhausting, frustrating, and down right rebellious.  God is waiting, ever so patiently, for this daughter of His to get on the train and then allow Him to start the engine... For Him to move the train down the tracks.

I was blessed this morning by Romans 9:17b "For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth."  Where in this verse does it mention that I am to do it??  No where.  He is doing it.  He will accomplish what He will.  I am still learning!  Thankfully!

Blessings,
Dawn