Pushing a Train is Exhausting!

Sometimes there is pain in growing.  God has been showing me just how prideful and strong willed I was being with Him.  He is God, I am not.  His purposes are good and not evil.  I can trust Him, but will I?  Will I step back and allow Him to accomplish what He wants to do?

It was revealed that I was not submitting to Andrew as the church submitted to Christ.  Wow!  I had so much pride there and yet I was failing in what I thought I was doing successfully.  I needed to step back, step down, and wait on God.  He will do it.  He will accomplish it.  He doesn't need my help.  In fact, He asks me not to help until He tells me so.  Wow!!!  Humbling!

I am sorry Lord for trying to make things happen.. to further this thing along the tracks.  Here's the thing, He has control of the engine.  I don't.  Getting behind the train and trying to help push it to the next destination is exhausting, frustrating, and down right rebellious.  God is waiting, ever so patiently, for this daughter of His to get on the train and then allow Him to start the engine... For Him to move the train down the tracks.

I was blessed this morning by Romans 9:17b "For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth."  Where in this verse does it mention that I am to do it??  No where.  He is doing it.  He will accomplish what He will.  I am still learning!  Thankfully!

Blessings,
Dawn

The Potter and The Clay

This morning I was deeply impressed by what I read.  Having spent time in college throwing clay on the wheel, I understood more of what was being conveyed.  "Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, 'Why have you made me like this?' Does not the potter have power over the clay, from the same lump to make one vessel for honor and another for dishonor?" (Romans 9:20-21 NKJV)

I find it interesting how many times I see something in another person and wish I had that feature, talent, or that thing about them that I admired.  They have a great ability to stand in front of a large group of people and speak with what looks like nerves of steel.  She is tall and slender.  They have amazing talent with this or that.  This scripture reminds me that I am not in control.  God is.  As His child, as His clay, He didn't make a mistake making what He did.  I am who I am on purpose.  You are who you are on purpose!

There is a reason why He made us with our quirks, our features, and our giftings.  I love Psalm 139 because it talks about how God knit us together in our mother's womb.  "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139:13-14 NIV)

God didn't miss a spot, forget something, or even drop a stitch (knitting reference).  Why do we look at ourselves with disappointment and disdain because we are "missing" something?  We are made with the specifications that God designed us to have.  You have the features you do because God designed you that way.  You are a one of a kind masterpiece, custom made!  Instead of seeing what you don't have, see what you do have.  You are fearfully and wonderfully made!  We are fearfully and wonderfully made!

Blessings,
Dawn

   PP

Waiting…. How many of us enjoying waiting?

Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!”  Psalm 27:14

Waiting…. How many of us enjoying waiting?

Waiting at red lights…

Waiting in line at the store…

Waiting for a response…

Yet, God is reminding me in the midst of my waiting that He is enough.  What does that mean?  It means that even though I don’t know why, I don’t know when things will change, or how things will change, I can trust that God is in control.  As I yield to His leadership and follow the leading He gives me that is what I am to do today.

What if this never happens or I never get that?

Well, if no is the answer, there is a good reason.  When we were children and our parents said no to something, we had to let it go and not harp on them for it.  We chose to trust them.  God is the same.  He says no for a good reason.  He may be saying not right now.  Either way, it doesn’t change the fact that He is good, trustworthy, and faithful.  I don’t have to understand everything.  I do know that God is good and I can trust His heart when I can’t see what He is doing.

Sometimes I put God in a box and I don’t even realize it.  Today I was reading in 1 Samuel 4 how the Ark of the Covenant was captured by the Philistines.  This brought great sorrow to the Israelites.  The amazing thing is, where ever the Philistines took the ark, it brought great tragedy to that Philistine city.  One of my favorite passages is 1 Samuel 5:1-5.  God was making a point to them.  This ark does not belong to you.  Return it to the rightful owners or you will suffer the consequences.  They kept moving the ark to different cities until they realized that they needed to get rid of it.

The Philistines decided to load the ark onto a cart that would be pulled by two cows.  They would let the cows go free and let them determine their own path.  The Philistines said that if the cart goes back to the Israelites, it indeed was the God of the Israelites that smote them.  If the cows went off anywhere else, their misery was happenstance.  Can you guess where the cows went?  Yep, down the road towards the Israelites.

This reminded me that God is much bigger than me and my understanding.  When things don’t work out according to how I thought they would, it does not diminish God’s sovereignty.  It’s easy to get caught up in what I want, when I think it might happen, and lose sight of all of the great things God is doing in the here and now.  The future is for Him to determine.  I just need to stay faithful to what He has called me to right now.  I can take my hand off the door of tomorrow and put it to work doing what has been ordained for today.

I was challenged with a thought that I read on a blog about why we sometimes have to wait: “To build your dependence on Him when you are barren and empty to see if He is truly all you desire and all you need.”  So, am I going to remain with my eyes fixed on my hopes and dreams of tomorrow, or am I going to be faithful with what He has given for me to do today?  I choose today.  I choose to be faithful today.  What do you choose?

Fruitful Times

OK, so it has been a bit since we had last given an update.  Quite the busy season but God has been working mightily in our lives.

It has been almost 4 months now since we have returned from New Zealand.  Most days it feels like years ago.  We truly want to be back in New Zealand.  God has just been priming our pump and we look forward to all that He has for us in the future.  While waiting upon the Lord we came across the following passage, 

                “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, 

                   but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.”  

                       - Proverbs 13:12 (NKJV)

We continue to wait upon The Lord and we know that He knows the best timing for us.  It feels like we are being loaded into a cannon and being packed…very tight.  When it goes off, we will be launched at super-sonic speeds.  In preparation, we have started selling some household items to help us stay ahead of the game.

On a new note, we just came back from the Calvary Chapel Missions Conference in Murrieta, CA.  What a blessed time fellowshipping with missionaries and lifting them up in prayer.  All the speakers were great and the theme was The Good and Faithful Servant from Matthew 25: 20-21.  We highly, highly recommend if you are interested at all on becoming a missionary or learning how to support your missionaries, try to attend this conference.  If you cannot attend in person, they stream the conference online as well.

A big thank you to all again for your prayers.  We are so blessed and humbled by the people in and around our lives.  Here’s to movement, a new year with wild anticipation.

God Bless!

Andrew

Giving Thanks, Even in the Storm

Each person can define what the “storm” means in their world right now.  In the midst of our storms, we are called to give thanks to God. 

How in the world do you expect me to thank God when I have this illness?

Why would I thank God when my loved one still passed away? 

There are so many things that can deter us from thanking God for even the smallest of things, but a strange thing happens when we thank Him in the midst of our storm.  Somehow, a peace begins to come into our hearts.  As we continue to give Him thanks, even though it might take a mighty effort to thank Him from our hearts, there is a great return, a great dividend when we take that step of faith.

You may argue in your heart or mind right now with what I have said, but the truth of the matter is, God, the creator of the universe, who spoke our world into existence, loves you.  When we look at David, a shepherd boy who became a king of Israel, fought many battles, and suffered many sorrows, found a way through the dark night to give thanks to God. 

In Psalm 35:18, David spoke “I will give You thanks in the great assembly; I will praise You among many people.”  He wasn’t in the best of places.  He hadn’t received what he was asking for, yet he chose to praise the Lord in the midst of his turmoil.  Looking at the verse right before it, David says, “Lord, how long will You look on? Rescue me from their destructions, my precious life from the lions.” 

We can’t afford to let our situations dictate when we feel like thanking God.  He is worthy of our thanks every single minute of the day.  What is one thing.. just one thing.. that you can say you are thankful to God for?

Here are just a few things that I am eternally thankful for:

-        -  God saved me from a destructive relationship when I was 19 years old.  I came back to God through the break-up of that engagement.  I am so thankful that I never married that person.  Through the heartbreak and ache, God began showing me how precious I was and what I really needed was Him.

-        -  I am thankful for His forgiveness!  I thought God was on the other side of the universe because I knowingly made a choice to sin against Him.  I thought there was no way to get back to Him so I continued to walk the path of destruction and there was absolutely no true joy or pleasure on that path.  I am grateful and thankful that He never gave up on me, and when I turned back to Him, He welcomed me home with open arms.  His love and forgiveness still astound me! 

      

      -  I am thankful for the parents He gave to me.  They are not perfect, but through them, I have grown closer to God and need Him more and more.  I am also thankful for my sister, whom is a beloved woman in my life that sharpens me (Proverbs 27:17).

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           -  I am thankful for the challenges in my life.  I know that sounds strange, but it makes me realize how small I am and how big God is.  He is the lifter of my head and the lover of my soul.  Without Him, the struggles I face would be filled with hopelessness, but with Him, I have no fear for I can trust Him and know that He will work out His perfect will in my life as I yield to Him.

-         -   I am thankful for my husband.  God knew what I needed in a mate and He has done and is still doing a wonderful work through him in my life.  He is the most patient man while I am like a bouncing ping pong ball sometimes.  I can see God’s love manifest in my husband and I am blown away at how much God really does love me.

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      ….  The list goes on and on.  Now it is your turn.  What are you thankful for?  Tell Him!  I know He would love to hear your voice!

Blessings to you, dear one!!

Dawn

The Vineyard

As we continue to wait upon the Lord for His guidance and timing, I would like to share a part of the trip that challenged me and helped me at the same time.  While we were in Rotorua at Calvary Chapel Bible Institute, Pastor Mark asked a simple question.  In my words, it is great that we wanted to serve, but what has God placed on our hearts that we are passionate towards.  Simple, but sometimes we lose sight of the simple things.

I must say, I was quite stoic and quiet for the next few days.  It wasn't a hard question per se but for some reason I was having a hard time saying anything.  Why was this so hard?  What I had figured out was that the passion that I knew about years ago had been overgrown with other things.  The busyness of life and serving; my focus had lost its sharpness and I must admit I felt a bit awkward like I should have known better.

In the Gospel of John Chapter 15, Jesus talks about the true vine.  In v2 He states, ”Every branch in Me that does not bear much fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.”  Later on in v6 He states, “If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.”  As believers we are the branches that get our nourishment from the vine (God).  There are two ways that we can go, we can bear fruit and be pruned or wither and be burned.  Either option is not one we readily look towards.  God was pruning me.  Be it too much on my plate, or this new season of life that I am going through, God loves me to prune me.  He clips away the dead stuff as well as some healthy stuff so that I may “bear more fruit”.

As I look back, I am so thankful for the question and uneasiness that it presented in my heart.  I have a renewed passion for worship and it helps me add another lens to view options through.  Are the things that I spend time on glorifying God?  Am I worshiping God through my thoughts and actions?  In the end it is just as John penned in v8 of Chapter 15, “By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.”

In His Grace and Mercy,

Andrew

Questions, Questions, and More Questions

As we have been home now a little more than three and a half weeks, we both have a yearning to be back in New Zealand.  Our exploratory trip was so wonderful and we learned so much.  It was great to see how God confirmed in both of us the desire to serve in this far away land.  After visiting three ministries, God really made it clear to our hearts where we would love to serve.  We have so many questions and so many people have questions for us.  As much as we would love to share, right now we are waiting on God’s timing.  Once we have the green light, we will share more.

God really convicted my heart about thinking too much.  Proverbs 3:7 states, “Do not be wise in your own eyes”.  Another scripture that has touched my heart is, “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).  As much as we want this to come along a specific ministry, right now we are waiting on the Lord and seeking counsel with our pastoral leadership.

What can you share about your experience?  Here are just a handful of things:

-        God showed me that my time with Reverb, our Jr. High ministry, was done.  It was time to move forward towards what He is calling us to next and so I will be rejoining the ladies prayer team.  I look forward to meeting new ladies and coming along side them.

-        We belong in New Zealand.  While at the airport for our flights back to the US, my stomach was in knots.  I didn’t want to leave!  Andrew pointed out a sign that put it in perspective.  It stated, “This is not goodbye”.  Exactly!  This couldn’t be goodbye as I knew where my heart longed to be.

-        I love the ladies at CCBI!!  Even though we were there for only a week, I cherished getting to know some of the ladies there.  Gwyn is one of the most amazing women I have met and she blessed my heart more than she knows.  Tecla is this amazing Romanian gypsy woman that can make a feast out of just a few things.  Amazing woman, is she!  The students and interns.. they captured my attention and I can still remember the gorgeous sunsets!

-        Calvary Wellington is a great little church that the Lord is using mightily.  Pastor Dave and team have sent out two missionaries already and they are not even five years old yet.  I love seeing God at work!  Pastor Dave and his family are wonderful wonderful people!!  Miss you, Becky!!

-        Calvary Whangarei is a church on the move.  They are looking at a new location because they keep growing.  There is an amazing group in Whangarei called Lions Den that is all about MMA.  We visited their lair to see what the set up looked like and I was impressed!!  They clearly state what they are about and how Jesus is a part of it all.  One of the things that I loved about our visit to the Den was seeing John 3:16 in Maori, “Koia ano te aroha o te Atua ki te ao, homai ana e ia tana Tama kotahi, kia kahore ai e ngaro te tangata e whakapono ana ki a ia, engari kia whiwhi ai ki te ora tonu.”  No matter the language, it is so beautiful!!  You can also read an article about the Den by a local paper: News Article.

-        We met an amazing family – The Welshes.  They live a little out in the country and live life to the fullest.  They have nine children, well the first four are already out of the house so they aren’t really children.  Any who, I was totally blessed when Malachi made Andrew and me breakfast.  What??  He is like 10 maybe 11.  Wow!  He had already made his mum and dad breakfast.  That was pretty neat to see.  A silly side note, I really LOVED her huge lazy susan that was in the middle of her large round table.  Makes sense to have something like that to pass the salt.  :O)

-        Mike and Kristen, plus their three lovely children, were a pleasure to hang out with for our last days in New Zealand.  We got to see some of the pretty local spots, plus enjoy lunch at the Fat Camel, a great and yummy local spot.  Let’s just say, I would eat there again.  Mike and Kristen were helpful in getting a different view from two Denverites’ perspectives.  We still have so much to learn.

-        Last but not least, we enjoyed our time with Fiona and Jack.  I met Fiona on LinkedIn when I was trying to get the pulse of life coaches in NZ.  She and I clicked and so we met up and stayed at their place a few nights.  They are wonderful people and we enjoyed our time with them!!!

I am hoping that the Lord will make it clear what He wants us to do next as I think of New Zealand often.  It is a place I long for, even though it means a challenging road ahead.  Please pray with us, won’t you, for wisdom, guidance, God’s perfect timing, and provision!

Thank you for joining us on this journey.  We look forward to sharing more updates with you!

Hugs and love,

Dawn