Dawn's reflections on January (Part 2)

Recap... Aunt Susie's funeral on the 8th.  My uncle went into ICU at the hospital on January 9th.  I get really sick on the 12th and still am really sick on the 15th.

January 15th... Freezing rain has arrived and every surface outside is like an ice rink.  I hear a strange sound while sleeping and wonder what the little man who is being babysat by his precious grandma has dropped.  Oh.. he didn't drop anything.  There is a knock at my bedroom door.

My friend comes in and gently lets me know that my rental car has been hit.  WHAT?  Are you kidding?  I get out of bed.  I look out the window and the front bumper is on the ground.  I start crying in the squeaky voice that is cold has left me.  It's a rather pathetic cry.  I am sure you wouldn't even recognize it as a cry, but I can tell you, I wanted to crawl up in a ball in the corner and just disappear.  This is too much!  I can't do this.

I calm down and watch the ice rink outside the window.  Oh... oh... NO! Another car hit my rental car.  No way!?!?!  I let the people downstairs know.  I am in shock.  What is my rental company going to do to me?  I didn't buy their collision insurance package.

Not 10 minutes later another car has been hit.  Now there are four cars sitting out front battered.  We are all in shock.  My friend's husband calls 911 to get the police out to the house.  Is this really happening?

My friend's husband is a champ, taking care of all of the details that I would have needed.  THANK YOU!!!!  I thank God for all that you did to take care of the situation.  You were awesome to watch as you loved on the people involved.

All day long I was "talking" with someone from the rental car agency checking in to see how things were going.. and if the new car had been delivered.  As nice as that is, it was getting really annoying.  The first tow truck driver messed up and didn't bring the new car when he came to pick up the damaged car. 

Hours... HOURS later the new car was brought, but in the midst of the whole tow truck drama, I had the chance to talk to one tow truck drive, Marcel, and I even was prompted to pray with this man.  God.. You love him!  Thank you for his gentle heart as he was checking in on me.  Bless him and keep him.

A divine appointment that wouldn’t have happened if the rental car didn’t get hit.  A silver thread of God with Marcel.  So many divine appointments today!  My friends meeting those that were involved in the accidents and those people being blessed with kindness and love.  They won’t forget what they experienced from my friends.. the love of God.  We just don’t know who was in need today.. and how God met those needs.  More silver threads of God for sure.

“Everybody needs compassion, love that’s never failing; let mercy fall on me,” from Mighty to Save.

January 16th... My bottom lip blows up with a row of fever blisters.  Oh this is just getting crazy!!

Still WHOLE30 strong!!  Susie.. you are worth it!

January 17th... I am talked into going to the doctor to check for influenza.  My nurse, Kim, remembers me from when I lived in Denver.  She shares her life story of the past four months.  I stare at her and groan in shock.  Her horrific experiences.. I can't even begin to imagine how she is doing in her heart.  God.. this is why I am here at the doctor's office... to connect with her!  We exchanged info so we can stay in touch after I return to NZ. 

Here is an obvious silver thread from the Lord.  He will do whatever He wants to touch people's lives.  He knew that I was okay, but He wanted Kim to know that she wasn’t alone, that He is there in the midst of her chaos.  We may not understand why things are going the way they are, but can you see the silver thread of God in it somewhere?  Can you see Him making connections with people you wouldn’t have otherwise connected with?

January 19th... Feeling better and I visit with dear friends at Calvary Aurora.  Andrew and I are blessed by this church!  Thank you for everything!!

January 20th... I start the journey back to New Zealand and I am feeling pretty good.  On my first flight the gals in my row are so worried about getting sick so I wear a mask.  The gal beside me pulls out her own mask and then the gal against the window puts on a bandanna to protect herself from germs.  It's not just about my germs, but about the germs on the plane. 

My flight from Houston is uneventful but very long... 15 hours!  I met a great flight attendant and by the end of the flight, I give him a hug.  Another potential silver thread of God. 

I finally meet Andrew at Taupo airport while wearing a mask.  It had "I love you" written over the mouth area.  It is so good to be reunited with him!

January 24th... Relapse... sickness has returned.  Bed rest here I come!  I am still not willing to bend... WHOLE30 strong!

January 30th... final day of first round of Whole30 and I am nervous and excited.  I haven't been on the scale since December 31st.  I wonder what it will look like since over half of my Whole30 was spent in bed.  Oy!!  I've been asked how I feel from doing the Whole30... I can't tell.  I've been so sick.  I will definitely do another round of Whole30 to see what it is really like.

I am nervous about what life will look like after this round.  I've been eating without any tummy aches unless there was something in the food that I didn't know was there.. and that happened a few times. 

Whole30 talks about non-scale victories (NSV).  This is where you see changes in your body after doing the program for 30 days.  They even want you to do a quick checklist before you weigh in so you can see other changes than the number on the scale.  Here are my NSVs for this round:
- No more mid-day slump
- I need less sugar or rather... I crave sugar less.
- Healthy eating habits have brought my family together... Andrew and I have fought through this and made it to the end.  Love you, babe!
- I have a flatter stomach
- My clothes fit better
- I have less painful joints
- I have fewer PMS symptoms (much to my surprise)
- I experience less back and knee pain
- I have improved circulation (my hands and feet weren't cold in Denver - until I got sick)
- Improved self-confidence (After having the month I did and remained Whole30 compliant... I have no more excuses!!)
- I have a healthier relationship with food
- I learned how to read a label even more (We have A LOT of sugar in food)
- I listen to my body
- I am no longer afraid of dietary fat (Nuts, oils, avocados)
- I no longer use food for comfort

So I got on the scale... what was I hoping for?  Did I achieve it?  I hoped for a 10 pound loss but got a 9 pound loss.  I have to remember that it was without one single workout that I had that loss.  Next time will be very very different.

Now what?  I am not interested in going back to the way I ate before.  What do I eat now?  I love the idea of going paleo... which is a little more relaxed than Whole30, but still no grains or legumes.  I am gluten and dairy free already so that is not a biggie for me.  Okay.. next journey begins.. Paleo!

January was filled with struggles, but I can clearly see the silver threads of God through each crazy experience.  I am reminded that God is a good God and I was always safe.  He used my life in ways I would have never imagined to make His presence known to others.  I am not my own and may God continue to receive the glory for everything!

I look forward to heaven and seeing what this trip was really all about.  Whose life or lives changed for the better as they chose to let God love them.  The ripple effect will be quite interesting to see.  God will use every situation in our lives to reach out to others.  God will use my brokenness to touch lives and reveal His presence.  He loves you!  He really does!

“My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.  He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.”

Psalm 121:2-3

I love you and thank you for praying for me when all of this was happening.  It was hard on Andrew not being able to be there to comfort me.  Please pray that I continue to heal as my body is still fighting this nasty virus or whatever it is.  Pray that we both have the needed energy for this semester as it is going to be a good one, but very busy.

Blessings to you and yours....

Dawn

Dawn's reflections on January (Part 1)

Looking back at January, it was an extraordinary month for me.  So many things happened and I am so glad the month is over.  I look forward to February being a month where my life stabilizes and to beautiful beginnings.

January 1st... within the first hour of the day starting I received a call from my mother that her sister, my 52 year old aunt, had suddenly passed away.  We were in shock!  What??  How?  When?  She wasn't sick.  What in the world!?!?!??!  We cried together and I told her I would pray about coming home.

While I was serving in Japan in 1998 my cousin passed away and I couldn't return for the funeral, a regret I have to this day.  Lord, what do You want me to do?  Go.  After talking with Andrew and my mom, a decision was made to return home to support my family through this sudden loss.

Andrew and I had to decided to embark on a Whole30 starting January 1st.  I began to question if we should continue in the light of the stress that was ahead.  Again, I took time to really consider it and pray.

Much like when I went back to college in August 2005 after my granny passed away that July, I was struggling to focus in my class.  Maybe I should drop the class and just wait until next semester.  I'm not ready.  I had a chat with the Lord and He was like, "Dawn... how would granny feel about you dropping this class?"  "She would be really upset with me, that I was allowing my grief to slow my progress towards graduation." "Okay.  Let's have a mindset shift.  What about you dedicating your class to granny?"  "Oh wow!!  That is an interesting and intriguing idea.  Let's go for it."  With a mindset shift, I completed that class with an A.

This Whole30 plan was getting the same mindset shift.  Aunt Susie, I dedicate this Whole30 to you!  I love you!  I wish you could have found the freedom from food that this plan offers.  Let's do this!!  I know it won't be easy, but I want to honor her with this.

January 3rd... I start the 25 hour journey to Denver, leaving the lodge at 8:00 AM, and Andrew drove me to Auckland airport which is a 3.5 hour drive.  Thank you, beloved husband, for being part of my journey to my family! 

I had divine appointments on my flights from Auckland and San Francisco.  I prayed with my neighbor on the SFO to Denver flight as he was a heart transplant survivor and takes meds every 12 hours to help make sure his body doesn't reject his new heart.  I was impressed with how he lives his life - a drummer for a band and he was flying home from a recording session.  I see a silver thread of God in this divine appointment.

Now that I am in Denver, let's do this!  I met with my cousins to help take care of some of the funeral plans.  We laugh, we cry, we are family!  I collect my aunt's memorabilia and photos.  There is a lot to do, but this will be a very special celebration of her life.  I am exhausted.

Working on her slide show was such a precious project as we mused over the photos and memories.  Her smile.  Her eyes.  It reminded me of her laughter.  Oh Susie, you will be so very missed!!  Thinking about what theme song for her video, I was reminded of one that I had listened to many times... I think it is the right one... See You Again performed by Carrie Underwood.

January 6th... All items are to be at the church to prepare for her service on Monday.  I ran into dear friends at the church which was such a blessing.  We upload the video and watch the whole thing to make sure it will work.  I cry.  I can't help it.  I can't believe she is gone.

January 7th... I had the joy of attending church at Calvary Aurora with my sister.  The worship is always spot on.  God spoke to my heart during one song about how He is in every moment.  He was there!!  My throat got a huge knot it.  I quietly sob.. tears rolling down my face.  Oh Father, thank You for telling me that!

January 8th... It's the day.... the day to say good-bye.. the day to remember Susie in a special way.  God, I need Your help!  Calvary Aurora did an amazing job serving my family in this special need.  Thank you for being the hands and feet of Christ!  I shared at the funeral a bit about what God spoke to my heart.  I pray others were comforted by it too. 

We go to the Red Robin that Susie would frequent.  We remember her some more.  I was challenged by the onion rings.. but I didn't touch them.  I didn't even reach out for them.  I didn't let me eyes linger on that tower of yummyness.  Susie.. this Whole30 is for you!

WHOLE30 strong!!!

January 9th... What???!?!?!  My uncle, Susie's brother, is found unresponsive and taken to the ER.  He has carbon dioxide poisoning again.  Lord!  Why?  My uncle is in ICU.  I have to go see him.  Wait, my cousin is home alone.. her mother is not there anymore... who do I go see, Lord?  Your uncle has his beloved with him.  Your cousin is alone.  Go see her!  Yes, I will go see her... love on her.. be with her.  You are dearly loved, dear cousin!

January 10th... My social calendar just made a dramatic shift.  I cancelled my two social appointments so that I could be with my uncle in ICU.  He is sedated as he is fighting the ventilator which is breathing for him.  I love you, uncle!  Please pull through!  Please keep fighting for life.  I can't imagine my world without you!  I played Reckless Love for him to remind him that God loves him and just in case the music was too confusing I read the words of the song to him.

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, relentless love of GodOh, how it pursues me, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nineI couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself awayOh, the overwhelming, never-ending, relentless love of God (words changed by me)

The nurses in the ICU were great and I had the opportunity to share with them about what Andrew and I have been up to.  Who knows the ripple effect this will have on their thoughts, ideas, and lives.  I see potential silver threads of God.

January 11th... Another visit to ICU.  He is doing better.  Come on, uncle, with God you can do this.  I love you!  XOXO

January 12th... I wake up with a strange little cough.  Hmm.. where did this come from?  I decide to do things differently and spend time with a few friends.  I have lunch with a dear friend and then run to get some immune system activator.  I can't let this cold or whatever it is get in the way of the rest of my trip.

I'm chilled so I put on my puffer jacket.  I spend my entire visit with another friend in my puffer jacket.  Hmm.. this isn't looking good.  I go to the restroom and after washing my hands my teeth start chattering and I am now shivering.  I have to go "home".  I text ahead that I am super chilled and my home-stay friends prepare for my arrival.  I get home and it's full on.  I feel terrible!

January 13th and 14th... those days are a blur.  I was sick in bed.  I think I watched cartoon movies.  Whole30 strong!  I will not let this sickness kick me off plan.

....... There is so much to share about this month.  The completion of this reflection will be posted in a few days .......